The Cat's Meow - Prologue

NaNoWriMo: PROLOGUE.  The set-up to my new novel.  Moving right along, so far.  The doldrums come about week 3

Dead

I'm dead.

I guess there's really no sense in burying the lead, here. There will be no Bruce Willis ending. I'm not going to make you go back and find all the not-so-subtle hints pointing you to the fact that I'm nothing more than lingering spirit.

This isn't one of those stories.

There aren's going to be any Shamalayan sized twists, though there are bound to be a few surprises along the way. What's a good story without a surprise or two anyway? I wouldn't be much of a storyteller/narrator if I didn't incite a gasp or two. If I didn't get your tearducts flowing or make you laugh out loud to yourself during your candlelit soak in the tub.

When I tell people that I'm dead...wait, let me start over. If I were capable of telling people that I'm dead, I assume the first question everyone would undoubtedly ask me is: “What's it like?” Humans, after all, are the only creatures on the planet that not only acknowledge their own mortality, but presume to detail the possibilies that lay beyond. Psychologists even break the process down in to stages.

Science is always breaking things down into stages. More on that later.

Well, I don't really mean to disappoint, friends, but I have no true idea what lies beyond. This whole story occurs before my death, you see. This is confusing, I understand, as I did open this little chapter with the whole bit about being dead. As I will discuss later in this little wandering prologue to my pre-death, post-life, otherworldly tale of tragedy, happiness, despair, and joy, time is relative.

And everything is relative to time. More on that later.

Quantum Mechanics proves that I'm not dead though. At least I think my rudementary understanding of the basics of your typical paradoxical existence dictates such. Or that I am both alive and dead at the same time, if nothing else. Perception is one's true reality after all.

The everyman can't even begin to wrap his mind around Quantum Mechanics. More on that later.

What I'm trying to get at is that you shouldn't text and drive. Let me expand that to say you shouldn't drive distracted. Statistics have actually shown that more people get in accidents while eating and driving than texting or talking on their phone. Though as the tech industry and prevalence of mobile communications continues to expand, these numbers will likely shift dramatically.

People don't want to die alone, and texting and driving ensures they won't. More on that later.

It's a commonly held belief that in the second before your own demise, your whole life flashes before your eyes. My story takes place in that second, simultaneously proving and disproving this whole theory. What I mean by this statement is that this concept is small beans in comparison to what actually happens.

The life or even lives that could have been will all pass before your eyes. Much more on that later.

You live, you die. The End. More on that much, much later.